Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Kristin Davis Set The Record Straight On Whether She Dated Chris Noth - BuzzFeed

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

"The AI Told Him To Kill Himself And He Did": 10 Nightmare Things AI And Robots Have Done To Humans - Yahoo

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Wanda Sykes delivers epic 26-minute acceptance speech, mentions every other winner at event and speaks up for trans people - CNN

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

Why don’t Jews regard Jesus as an important teacher or rabbi, if not the Messiah? Putting aside messianic claims, wouldn’t Jesus be one of the most significant Jewish teachers in human history?

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What happens psychologically to a man the first time he gets penetrated anally?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Here’s where to get free doughnuts on National Donut Day 2025 - Fortune

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Carlos Alcaraz roars all the way back to win the French Open again - The Washington Post

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

We’ve Found Sauropod Stomach Contents For The First Time, Revealing They Had Terrible Manners - IFLScience

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How might an Indian girl respond to someone saying "I love you"?

I see through liars

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Meta in Talks for Scale AI Investment That Could Top $10 Billion - Bloomberg

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

South Korea’s opposition leader Lee wins election as voters punish conservatives after martial law chaos - CNN

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Procter & Gamble to Cut 7,000 Jobs - WSJ

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

SpaceX May Be Failing to Get Starship Working at All - futurism.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can read

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fakery